"The Apprentice" to play on!

The Units oldest ever player, Goalkeeper Sener "the Apprentice" Balki (pictured) has announce he will play for yet another Hattrick season. At 38 years old, and still with passable GK skill, some fans are hoping he can play in the nuclear cup for the Units until the magic 40 milestone, but Balki is taking it one game at a time.
Many thought Sener's career was over earlier in the season when he suffered a +2 injury, but he bravely fought his way back into the team, and played very well (2 stars) in 15 mins game time in the nuclear cup semi final against more fire.
The Units currently have 3 keepers, and will be looking for a higher-skilled back up next season. However, Balki will remain as the backup-backup, meaning Martin van Wanrooij will be moving on. Management has said van Wanrooij "is, at 35 years old, far too inexperienced".

More Fire vs. Sugar Kick in Nuclear Cup Final!

After 2 spectacular semi-finals, the decider of this season's Nuclear Cup will be between More Fire and Sugar Kick. This will be the first time in the final for both teams.
Sugar Kick got through against an unlucky Bluthenthal on penalties, after an exciting 3-3 draw in which Sugar recovered from trailing 3-1 in the second half.
Perhaps even more amazing was the other semi, in which More Fire also came back from 2 goals behind, levelling the match at 4-4. A goal from Egon Betti (cool name - Egon!) in extra time won the match for Fire.
The final promises to be an [unpredictable] affair. With so much at stake, both managers will be putting even more preparation time into the match than usual.

Photos taken from intense training sessions required to prepare players for the monumental occasion.

Benny Issjo retires and enters The Units Hall Of Fame

The playing career of Units legend Benny Issjo came to an end today. Issjo, 32, was playing his 100th match for the club, an amazing achievement that only 2 other Units have reached.
Benny was the Units first star midfielder, and was probably the biggest bargain in history when The Units secured the dashing Swede for less than $600,000.
Benny was for many seasons one of The Units best players, but he will also be remembered for his coaching prowess. Benny was the first Unit player to become coach, and captain/coached the side to countless heroic victories. As Benny entered his 30's, thanks to his technical ability he even found a new lease of life as a defensive forward, producing 5-star performances in the new role.

Benny's last match was a memorable event. His Units team mates, suitably inspired, put in a rousing performance in the Nuclear Cup, defeating 4-time champions Green Loraxes 4-1. The match was attended by fellow Swedish hero's ABBA, Mats Wilander and Ingmar Bergman (deceased) among many other fans.

Benny will be inducted into the Units Hall of Fame in a huge ceremony tonight, during which he will also be awarded the Nobel Prize for Hattrick.

Benny is expected to concentrate on his music career with his magnificent (very high) dance band "thorleifs" (pictured right).

Nuclear Cup - Season 7

It's been a while - but we are back! Last season wasn't exactly the most successful season, but we have decided to rebuild and bring it back to its much more exclusive origins with only the cream-of-the-crop being invited to participate.

We are in the process of updating the website again (and hopefully the Wildman plugin) so keep checking back. The season 7 fixture is posted up on the side in a very primitive form (which will be shortly updated to Nuclear Cup standard).

Consultation with our resident psychic, Gary Spivey, has told us that we should expect this season to be much more successful. He also went on to say that the world was likely to end, and that Odell Bograt is the love child of Bud Tingwell and Fips Hanus, so I guess we'll see what happens.

Good luck to all for the season,

Nuclear Cup Management.

Loraxes Karehi Solomon Reaches 100!

The original Green Loraxes midfielder/defender, Karehi Solomon, is the first player to reach 100 games for the Loraxes. Whilst many overlook the Lorax veteren, he has been a solid performer since the very beginning despite his lack of skills, achieving a career high 4 stars. His place in the side, however, is becoming increasingly precarious with the introduction of more and more million-dollar overseas players into the team. This however has inspired Karehi to work-out harder than anyone else around, even creating his own novel workout regime known as the "Car-Throw-In-Tree workout", which has also become popular with many Hollywood celebrities, and has also unintentionally become popular with many green groups.

NUCLEAR CUP VI IMMINENT!!

11 entrants in this season's Nuclear Cup means a slightly complex fixture, and the reintroduction of Team X. A random draw performed by the Nuclear Cup Council has resulted thus:


Group A

Sugar Kick
Green Loraxes
BRAP2
The Ginger Beards


Group B

Gaeta FC
Mababies
Beerjackets
The Shagging Lizards


Group C

More Fire!
Bluthenthal da 3
The Units
Team X



Teams will play the other teams in the group twice- once at home and once away. (6 matches)
The top two teams from each group will advance to the knockout rounds.

The winner of group A and the winner of Group B will advance directly to the semi-final, while the top 2 from group C and the runners up in group A and Group B will playoff to enter the semi finals:

so


Teams in Group 3 face Team X. This means organising a friendly against anyone you want, but the result counts as a Nuclear Cup match.

In the knockout fixtures shown here, the top teams are at home. The "best runner up" and "2nd runner up" refers to the runners up in groups 1 and 2, with the team that accumulates the most points (and then goal difference etc) deemed to be the "best", therefore having a home match first up.

At this stage, the final will be held at a Neutral venue.

The fixtures for the group stage will be under "fixtures" on the left of this website.

Reminiscing about Bud.

Some fantastic Charlie "Bud" Tingwell highlights from his supreme HT career!!

Charlie Tingwell struck home the penalty, as cool as anything.

Charlie Tingwell was delighted to score the 5 - 0 goal after he saw his shot go between the legs of the advancing goalkeeper

Charlie Tingwell placed the ball out of reach for the home side's keeper after a fine move, coming in from the left.

Charlie Tingwell gave Units supporters even more to cheer about when he increased the lead to 5 - 0 after 44 minutes. That was his third goal of the match - a hat trick for Charlie Tingwell.

A foul 46 minutes into the game resulted in a free kick for Units. Charlie Tingwell took advantage as he curled the equalising goal into the top corner, just out of the reach of the keeper. 2 - 2.

After 34 minutes, Charlie Tingwell came in from the right, feinted, then sped past the off-balance defender to put away the 2 - 1 goal, giving Units the lead.

Charlie Tingwell increased the visitors' lead by putting a volley shot away on a pass from the right. 0 - 5.

The corner kick from Hunter Wilmot set Charlie Tingwell up perfectly, as he soared to meet the ball, heading it in for 0-6. That was his third goal of the match - a hat trick for Charlie Tingwell.

Charlie Tingwell performed admirably for Units.

Units managed to extend their lead to 5 - 2 when Charlie Tingwell cut in neatly from the left side and struck a fine shot past the away team's goalkeeper.

After 35 minutes, Units's Charlie Tingwell made his way through the middle and nonchalantly placed the ball out of the keeper's reach, putting the visitors up 0 - 1.

A magnificent combination in the middle resulted in Units's Charlie Tingwell putting the lead up to 2 - 0.
Most important Units player was Charlie Tingwell.

Man, what a shot by Units's Charlie Tingwell! Firing in from 35 yards after 17 minutes, that is probably going to be one of the finest, most beautiful, wonderfully crafted strikes the crowd here today are ever likely to see. 0 - 2.

By then Charlie Tingwell was a three time scorer - a hat trick!

Units fans held their breath as Charlie Tingwell scampered down the left side. He successfully avoided all challenges and cracked home the go-ahead goal for 2-1!

In a fantastic display of determination, Units's Charlie Tingwell forced himself to his feet, after an opponent viciously knocked him down.

An accurate cross from Units's Xacobo Echavarría was met with a wonderful glancing header from Charlie Tingwell, hitting the inside base of the post before nestling into the back of the net for 5 - 1.

Units's Charlie Tingwell finished emphatically to make the score 6-0 after 73 minutes, after the enigmatic Christian Ludwig Cursdorf pulled a delightful long pass from his box of tricks to bypass the defence.

After 12 minutes, Charlie Tingwell made a dash down the middle past the away team's defenders to score the goal that made it 1 - 1.

Charlie Tingwell increased Units's lead to 4 - 1, putting a header away on a hooked ball from the right.



Here is Bud setting up the first goal for the Units in the final of Nuclear Cup II (which the Units unfortunately lost):
A well placed corner kick from Charlie Tingwell was followed by Dietrich Sigel's hard but accurate header. The nice combination marked a goal for Units, the score now 0-1.


And of course, the winning goal in the first ever Nuclear Cup final:
A drive on the left side allowed Units's Charlie Tingwell to get in close and score a goal after 76 minutes, leading to 1 - 3.

Fips attempts to go 'Back To The Future'

The legendary Fips Hanus, former Nuclear Cup superstar, who retired at the end of last season has had to adapt to civilian life over the past year. Sources close to Fips however claim that the legend has so far struggled to adapt, especially since the passing of his great rival and now Units Hall Of Fame forward, Charles "Bud" Tingwell. On top if this, the opening of his own restaurant has also only had limited success, and being knocked out of 'So You Think You Can Dance' in the third round have begun to take their toll on the legend.

Over the last two months Fips has hatched a plan to relive the glory days of the Nuclear Cup, and has created a time machine, based on documentary he watched (featuring Michael J. Fox). It requires the car to reach 88 miles/hour in order to 'jump', however for some reason or another, he has struggled to get the car to this pace.

Stamina Training

For all of you who have wondered what percent of training you should dedicate to stamina, this link has an easy table for you to work it out.
http://iht.smdesign.es/en/node/201.
Hope this helps improve your teams results.

BRAP2.

Units honour Bud

The worlds of film, television and Hattrick are in mourning following the death of Charlie "Bud" Tingwell. Bud will remembered by all for his stellar acting career and as his role as The Units favourite forward.

Born in Sydney, Bud's prodigious talent was obvious from a young age when he became Australia's youngest radio announcer at station 2CH. When WWII broke out, Bud joined the Royal Australian Air Force, flying many dangerous missions over Nazi territory in Europe and the Middle East.
After the war, Bud worked as an actor in film and television constantly for almost his entire life, in Australia, the UK and hollywood. His most famous roles were in the TV series homicide, as well as legendary Aussie movies "Breaker Morant" and "The Castle".
On the Hattrick field, Bud was an original member of The Units. He played 83 games for the club, including many in the Nuclear Cup, where he scored more than 20 goals, believed to be a record. Perhaps his greatest day was the final of the inaugural Nuclear Cup, where he scored the final goal, ensuring victory for his beloved Units.

Bud died just 2 days after retirement from Hattrick, his last match was a testimonial to him against the Green Loraxes. Fittingly, his last ever action was to score a goal, from the penalty spot in an exciting shoot-out.

Charlie "Bud" Tingwell was today inducted into The Units Hall Of Fame, where he joins fellow founding members of The Units, Frankie Motlop and Randall Sadler.

After Bud's departure, The Units have only one original player left in the squad - midfielder and probable future coach Rocky Naiqama. Rocky stated:
I will dedicate all of my future efforts with The Units to the memory of Charlie "Bud" Tingwell.

Randall Sadler inducted into Units Hall of Fame

The Units now have two players in the Hall of Fame. Original Units midfielder/defender Randall Sadler joins Frankie Motlop as an immortal Unit. Randall, a largely unobtrusive figure, was much loved by the club for his steadfast loyalty- even though he was hardly ever picked for the senior lineup. In fact, Randall still had only poor experience, despite playing 83 matches over seven seasons for the club, and retiring at 31 years of age.
He will be best remembered for scoring a hattrick in The Units first ever cup win, here are the highlights:
The counterattack by Units resulted in a free kick that Randall Sadler bent under the crossbar - 0 - 1!
A penalty was called after 11 minutes, and Units's Randall Sadler made the most of his chance to put his team up by another goal. 0 - 2 for the visitors.
The home keeper was stunned 37 minutes into the match when he misjudged the free kick by Randall Sadler and dived in the wrong direction. The visitors increased the lead to 0 - 3. This third goal made a hat trick for Randall Sadler.

The Units Hall of Fame is expected to be further expanded when club legend Charlie "Bud" Tingwell retires after his last ever match this week, a testimonial to the great man against his greatest rivals the Green Loraxes.

Fips celebrates Loraxes' victory

Green Loraxes most famous fan, the legendary Fips Hanus, paid tribute to his beloved Green Loraxes after the club won an historic 3rd consecutive Nuclear Cup. Fips was seen entertaining Lorax fans with his patented motorbike tricks.

GREEN LORAXES 3 IN A ROW!!!!!

The mighty Green Loraxes have won the Nuclear Cup for the 3rd consecutive season, proving beyond doubt they are the best team of the current era. The final was one of the greatest Nuclear Cup matches ever, as the Loraxes defeated an extremely strong Bluthenthal lineup 4-3 in a thriller.

The Loraxes found themselves behind after just 4 minutes, but equalised a minute later. A sensational period later on in the first half saw the Loraxes score 2 goals, including a second by Fredrik Bredbatt, and by the 37 minute mark looked like winners, leading 3-1. Bluthenthal made a tremendous comeback to level the scores 3-3 early in the second half.
However, the turning point of the match came at the 62 minute mark, when a controversial penalty was awarded to the Loraxes, which Solomon converted. Bluthenthal fans were rightly furious, and the referee in question is now deceased.
Bluthenthal were unable to score again, and the Loraxes hung on for a wonderful victory.
The unlucky Bluthenthal side will have to wait until Nuclear Cup VI for another chance at glory, and most pundits predict another strong showing from the Italian club.

Fips relaxes in retirement

The legendary Fips Hanus has been seen relaxing on holiday in the Bahamas. A big hit with the ladies, Fips has caused quite a stir at the resort. The passable keeper has adapted to civilian life quickly, starting up an all-you-eat restaurant, where Fips has guaranteed all dishes are personally tested and approved by himself. However, so far the restaurant has surprisingly yet to record a profit.

I miss you all guys!!!

Hi everybody!
I don't know why today I'm feeling really nostalgic!
I looked all the pictures and short movies of my days in Melbourne and I remembered the great time spent with you guys!
Thank you!

Alba

PS. Well done Andy...you did a great job with the Wildman plug-in!

Units do their bit for stagnant economy

The Units have bought the first of a new batch of defensive trainees, 21 year old Romanian prodigy Gavril Câmpeanu, for $3.4 million. Gavril is already a brilliant playmaker, formidable set-piece taker, and is set to become The Units first genuine multiskilled superstar. Gavril was injured during his league match on Sunday, but according to club doctors he will be fit in time to commence defence training when The Units switch from keeper training in a couple of weeks.

Whilst many of the Units critics have questioned the wisdom of spending $3.4 million on an injured 21-year old trainee, club management pointed out the cost is largely offset by a $900 gift from Kevin Rudd. Also, the Club is expecting a "stimulus package", which medical staff say may not help Gavril's injuries directly, but "should at least cheer him up a bit".

A sad and sorry day for Quinn Kings as More Fire! beats the Series V.164 favourites

The boys of More Fire! have outdone themselves once again, after beating the clear favourites of their Series to win today's match 2-1. This comes as a shock to the Kings, as their unprecedented loss this season means it is now unclear whether they will be automatically accepted into Division IV, for the fourth time. Meanwhile, the entire team of More Fire! were enjoying celebratory after-game drinks, after 'mooning' their way out of the Burning New arena, clearly satisfied with their result. But the win did not come without an inevitable loss, as one of their up and coming star midfielders, Fernando Flores twisted his ankle during the battle, having to watch the rest of the game from the sidelines. The management of More Fire! said that they would supply the boys with extra spirits during their training sessions from now on, and also provide extra budget for alternative training methods and medicines such as shiatsu, bear-wrestling and wife-carrying contests which have seemed to increase the strength, mobility and stamina of the players all-round resulting in today's spectacular win. The management of the Kings team were unavailable for comment, but a close source revealed that most of the boys had fallen quite ill after consuming a whole lot of Chinese custard buns the night before.

2002 Members For BRAP2

The Fans went wild as BRAP2 announced the 2000 member to join the club. The honour of being the 2000th member went to a die hard fan that happened to dressed up for the day. the 2001st member to join was a little dissapointed about missing out on the golden 2000th membership.

tough decision..!

A 5 million dollar bra...or a 5 million dollar player? it was a tough choice...but i think Mababies made a good decision with the addition of Niels Ebbe Petersen...the 5 million dollar player...who is doing magnificently in Mababies' midfield...which really needed some help!...

Introducing....The 6 million dollar man!

Finally i have a chance to introduce you all to my 6 million dollar man!!!...Gerdas Šabliauskas...he is the most recent member of mababies!...and my my my...he is a babe!...and definitely worth the 6 million dollars (thankyou Ben!)...he has done exceptionally well in the team...and is helping mababies in their new division...he is certainly one to keep an eye on..!